Romney Suspends Campaign To Tell You a Little About The Mormon Church

The Mormon Church is great!  We try harder than regular Christians.  We even have women in our congregations.  All our churches are gated and locked with security guards and services to keep the filthy, dependent beggars who lack self-sufficiency to get a job from interfering with our elite community members.  I wanted to tell you how proud I am of our women members for doing everything that the men tell them to do.

As President, I'll continue to give 10% of my time to the church, sort of like when George W. spent most of his time on his ranch.

I'll give weekly readings of the Book of Mormon in Saturday briefings or fireside chats. I promise to geet a dog!   You should really consider that you may not go to heaven unless you become a Mormon.  We can change you, even if you are gay or black.  Call this number for your free book of Mormon-1 800 nothanks.  When you see our missionaries in their lily white shirts, make sure to invite them into your home as they are away from their home for a couple of years.  They can straighten you out on your Christian beliefs and help you try harder to be a real Mormon.

See how well I did in the debate after all the Mormons fasted and prayed for me?  I am your ticket to heaven, ask me how.  I get it and Obama's radical Congregational Church leader doesn't.  NOTE:  Author's father (85) is a wonderful Congregational minister and educator who is unstoppable in his commitment to be fair and generous, but he's not a Mormon, unfortunately, according to Romney.  My Dad has had plenty of turmoil in his life, it's just been different than mine and I truly admire him and his instruction to me that most of our turmoil is a learning experience.

I have been to numerous Mormon Church services, met many top leaders and the missionaries and have been to pot-lucks and funeral services.  I find them to be more zealous and robotic than Jehovah's Witnesses.  I completed the layperson study session with the Jehovah's Witnesses but quit seeing them after they made me swear to God that I would go to their church regularly.  I found this to be a bit excessive.

I still believe that Romney is sincere, honorable and generous as an individual.  As a politician, I pray he ends up in CHINA!